It's time for me to come out of a months-long blogging hiatus to bug you all about my personal business! Woo! Don't worry, though. I'll include the obligatory talk about music and stuff that this blog was actually intended for afterwards.
Lately, I've been feeling kind of stuck. Like I haven't been making any progress, both personally and creatively. There are a million things I want to say, but whenever I try to say them, nothing comes out. I recently found some old songs I had been writing a year or two ago, and to my surprise, I didn't hate them. They were actually coherent, and mostly decently interesting, so I decided to finish them. I wrote a little bit more of one of them, but I wasn't too happy with the direction it was going in, and I haven't been able to do much with the rest. It's the same story with writing, too (no pun intended). I have two ideas for short stories that I'm really excited about, but every time I sit down to work on them, nothing comes out, because I have no idea where to start. I've been biding my time creatively by taking a more active interest in other people's work, and hoping that sparks inspiration, but so far it just feels like a cop-out.
To a point, you could use this sort of writer's block to describe my personal life lately, too. For the first time in nearly two years, I feel like I'm finally ready to reach out and connect with someone (not necessarily in a romantic way, although not necessarily not). I feel like I've learned all I can learn from solitude at this point in my life. The problem is, I don't really have anywhere to go. And this isn't really anyone's fault but my own. I'm not really equipped to deal with most social situations, and I feel really uncomfortable meeting new people.
And I don't mean to sound unappreciative of the friends I do have. I love my friends, but the ones I actually talk to about personal things are back home. I have lots of fun here in Stony Brook, and I feel lucky to have so many friends here, but I just don't feel like there's anyone here that I'd feel comfortable really opening up to. Which, again, is more my own fault than any of theirs.
I don't mean to seem so down, either. I write about the negative because that stands out more to me, but I'm not depressed or anything like that. I've been more on top of things academically than usual, which is pretty satisfying. I'm still behind on some stuff, but I think I'm finally overcoming my perpetual laziness.
This concludes the personal portion of this blog.
I've been listening to a lot of really great music lately. I love more than anything when I actually have the time and attention span to listen to entire albums straight through. I like listening to music in the context that the artists intended. Here's a list of the albums I've listened to lately-
Strapping Young Lad- City
Tool- Lateralus
The Devin Townsend Project- Ki
The Fall of Troy- Doppelganger
Gordian Knot- Emergent
3- The Ghost You Gave To Me
Pennywise- Unknown Road
Animals As Leaders- Weightless
Between the Buried and Me- Colors
Dysrhythmia- No Interference
The thing I find interesting about this list is that every album, with the exception of Unknown Road, Doppelganger, and Lateralus, is by a band I only started listening to in the past year or so. I'm really glad I can find so much new music that I appreciate and that influences the way I think about music. It gives me hope that originality still exists, and will continue to exist in music in the future.
I just have to say one thing about TV I've been watching lately- I recently finished watching every episode of Breaking Bad. Oh my god that show is so fucking good oh my god.
The only movie I watched lately was Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder. Really good, but not new. I can't wait for the Avengers movie, though.
Also, I've been getting back into Starcraft.
That's all for now.