I feel like it should be really easy to not be a crazy person

But somehow I can't seem to manage it

I'm still miserable, but...

Today was a terrible day. Not for any particular reason. Just me being me, I guess.

I spent most of the day feeling either nothing at all, or intense feelings of guilt and shame, and I wasn't really able to communicate with anyone.

I wish I could explain it better, because I know it doesn't make any sense. And I know some of you are familiar with this, and I'm very sorry for that. I know you worry about me, and this isn't something that you should have to deal with.

So I basically went to work, did a good impression of myself, socialized as little as possible, and came home to be in my room alone eating junk food and watching tv to pass the time. Feel like shit, eat like shit, I guess. And I also ditched class, because there was absolutely no chance that I was going to give a shit about organic chemistry today.

But I'm starting to even out and get into a more normal state of mind. And despite all this, I look at tomorrow as an opportunity to be a happier, healthier, more productive person. Maybe I'm naive for thinking that's a possibility, but we are who we are. I guess I'll always be a piece of trash that hopes for more.

I'm sure I'll have mixed feelings about having posted this in the morning, but I like to take the opportunity to be an open book whenever I can, since it's so difficult for me to talk about myself otherwise. Just please try not to hold this against me too much. I don't want to be a whiner, I just want to be honest.

Oh yeah

I almost forgot about depression

And all the lonely things seem to want to change

As someone who is very introverted, somewhat cynical, and really doesn't like being told what to do, I despise when people post really vague, unsolicited life advice on Facebook. However, I'm in a certain mood, and so I'm going to be a bit of a hypocrite here.

If you have someone in your life who can turn a bullshit, horrible, godawful dumpster fire of a day into a pretty damn good one, without even trying or understanding what they've done for you, make sure you do everything in your power to keep that person around. It's a rare ability, and I'm finding more and more that it's an important one as well.