So I returned to Facebook tonight after taking a break for about a week. I intended to stay away for much longer, but since I have so much trouble reaching out to people, my absence was more lonely than refreshing this time. I left because I was stressed, because I let myself get to a place where I was way too concerned with what other people were doing, and I was posting every stupid little thought I had online, and I wanted to get away from that. It helped a little, but mostly all it did was cut me off from the people I wanted to talk to. I wanted to feel strong, like I didn't need anyone, but I just sat in my room doing the same boring shit, and waiting for that one special phone call that would make me feel connected to the world, and maybe make things okay.
It was a little refreshing and a little strange to see who checked up on me when I disappeared without any sort of notice. I saw some of my friends in person, a few people texted me, and at least one person checked my blog to see if I posted anything (I can see page views). I was a little disappointed to find that some people just didn't bother. You think you're pretty close to someone, you tell them you're not okay, and you disappear, and you don't even get so much as a phone call. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but whatever. Everything's a learning experience.
My original plan was not to return until I had finished writing the three songs I have almost finished, but since I'm weak-willed, here I am. What I will say is that I have two of them done, and I hit a wall on the third one, but I'll probably have it finished in the next week or so. So if you like hearing shitty MIDI computer sounds and using your imagination to picture what it's supposed to sound like, I'll have those posted on here sometime soon.
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