I've entered a phase in my life that can only be described as "drinking and watching romantic comedies alone in the middle of the night". And I've been drinking a bit more than usual lately, because there are certain things (or I guess certain people) I've been trying to get off my mind and it honestly isn't working very well. There are some people in my life that lack a necessary level of self-awareness, and it's causing me a lot of undue stress.
Anyway, this phase sort of started because the other night I was in the mood to watch Love, Actually (my personal favorite rom-com (yes, I have a favorite rom-com, I am not ashamed)). But just now, I watched Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (thanks for the recommendation, Netflix), and it caused me to have what I can only describe as an emotional breakdown alone, in my room, at 3 AM. I have probably experienced films, books, and even video games that were better written than this movie (not that it was poorly-written), but something about the particular themes it encountered resonated with me personally. I can't recall any work of fiction that I've reacted to this strongly. The only film I can think of that even comes close is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which I pretty much refuse to watch, because I'm honestly not sure if I could handle it again.
What this experience tells me is that I need to address and work through some of the things that I have been trying to ignore, because they're clearly trying to surface in other ways. Drinking until I fall asleep so I don't have to be alone with my thoughts is obviously not a long-term coping method.
P.S. I write this blog because my goal is to be as honest and open as possible. I do not write it as a cry for help. If you have a word of advice, I'm happy to hear it, but I'm not asking you to intervene, and I definitely don't need anyone worrying my immediate family about anything I post here.
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